JC's Corner

I can see clearly now and no, it’s not because I had my contact lens prescription changed!

What enabled me to see more clearly was an inner knowing, an acceptance which seemed to make so many of the things that had happened previously in my life fall into place.

Think about your life.  Have you ever asked yourself the “Why” question?

Why did this or that happen?
Why did things work out the way they did?
Why you?
Why not you?

Do any of these questions sound familiar?

I’ve spent more time than I care to admit searching for the why. I’ve tried to apply logic to the most illogical situations. I’ve sought counsel from those much wiser than me. I spent many sleepless nights…

I read every book I could get my hands on, and often still came up empty handed, when it came to understanding the why.

The inner knowing that I refer to is the awareness that all those unpleasant, uncomfortable, painful, difficult … downright hard lessons were all part of a master plan. The master plan to help me become the person I am, get me to where I am today, and more importantly to get where I want to be tomorrow.

In his book, I Can See Clearly Now, Dr. Wayne Dyer states that everything shows up in our life for a purpose even though sometimes it takes 20/20 hindsight to see it.

I’d like you to think back to the last really tough challenge you had, maybe a BIG heartache… or a loss. Did you ask why? Did you fight, struggle and/or get angry?

Like myself, you might have been asking the wrong question, why?  I think the more helpful question is, what am I supposed to be learning from this? I can now look back to the hard lessons I’ve experienced and know that it was those lessons that enabled me to step up to the next best version of myself.

Some of my hardest lessons were the result of getting too full of myself, or when wanting to be right was more important than seeking to understand.

Those were also the times that my ego hijacked my body and any hope for reflection was not even on my radar screen. The good news is that those same challenges eventually lifted me up when I took the time to reflect, realize the lesson I was supposed to learn and committed to change my behavior.

Here’s a short exercise:

1. Take out a blank sheet of paper. Number 1-10 down the left-hand side.
2. Then create 3 columns across the page. Label the first column WHAT, then the next column SO WHAT, then the last column NOW WHAT.
3. In the first column, write down 5 of the hardest challenges/lessons you’ve experienced in your life.
4. In the second column, write how that lesson made you feel … embarrassed. angry, hurt, rejected, anxious, jealous, fearful, guilty, etc.
5. Now in the third column, write down the impact or learning that occurred as a result of that experience.

You might not have 20/20 vision right away. You may need to sit with a lesson, suspend old judgements or lay aside the hurt. You may need to look at the situation with a new pair of eyes to be able to clearly see how that lesson changed your life or the lives of others for the better.

When my own vision got clearer, my stress level decreased. When I was able to see that bad things happen to good people, that everything happens for a reason, and realize that some of our greatest growth is preceded by a fall.

Many of us are better at giving others grace than giving ourselves grace. I started resting better when I accepted that we cannot change yesterday and with the knowing that when we know better, we do better.

I love this quote by Suzane Northrop, in her book, Everything Happens for a Reason, “… what I do know is that if you surrender to examining the things that happen in your life, and why they might happen, then you will begin to see, hear, touch, and experience life from an entirely different perspective.”

And you might just come to know yourself as you really are.

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